I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
whose parrot is this?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize