I'm drive I can fine osifer
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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