does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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