her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
