Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize