i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
