3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Randomize