So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
