And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
