Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
