Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I am available for nakedness
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
