Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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