I'm so fucking centered right now
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
