Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
