Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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