physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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