let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
