so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I looked at my own cervix.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
