What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
