Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
