Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
