Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
