windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize