Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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