You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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