i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
