so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize