is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
