peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
