Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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