We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
