Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
