I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
