love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
