Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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