She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
