At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
