Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize