well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
