We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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