Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize