38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
