When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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