I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
