U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
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