His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
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