Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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