and you said cock pushups were impossible
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Randomize