It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
