The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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