Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
