My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
We just shotgunned beers for America
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
