capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
this will be a night to untag.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize