i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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