So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
