i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
