goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
