My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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