Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
