What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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