Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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