At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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