umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
