they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
There's even glitter on my cock...
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